Airline/ Flight Travel Jokes August 29, 2008
Posted by dodo in : Africa, Air Tickets, Airlines, Cuba, Embassy, Flight Schedule, France, Las Vegas, London, Scotland, Tour, Trip , trackbackI took my wife to France by airline travel last year. You know how it is — you always take something with you that you don’t need.
Florida has two main industries, tourists and alligators, and they skin both of them.
Travel broadens one — so does sitting at home in an armchair.
This is a wonderful town. When I arrived here I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t speak, I had very little hair and people used to lift me from my bed — I was born here.
Las Vegas — now there’s a town for my money.
A mother was travelling on an airlinewith her little son and daughter. Both wanted to use the airlinebathroom at the same time. She took them down the aisle, letting the little boy go in by himself, and she accompanied the little girl. The boy came out first and went back to his airlineseat, another waiting passenger entered the lavatory. The mother then came out and seeing the airlinedoor still open and presuming her little boy was in there, said, “Arthur, don’t forget to fasten you zipper.” When the man returned to his airlineseat, he said to his companion, “You know, on this airline, the stewardesses think of everything.”
The American diplomat was traveling by airlinethrough several of the new countries of Africa. He had planned to speak at a number of meetings of the natives and had been assigned one of the best interpreters from the American embassy. At his first stop he began his speech with a rather long, funny story. At the end of the anecdote, the native interpreter said six words to the audience and they erupted with screams of laughter.
The diplomat was amazed and said to the interpreter, “How were you able to tell that long story to these people in only six words?”
“Oh,” said the interpreter, “story too long. I just say, ‘He tell joke, everybody must laugh’.”
Airline traffic controller: “What is your height and position?”
Airline Pilot: “I’m about five feet ten inches tall and I’m sitting in the pilot’s seat.”
The airline was so old it even had an outside lavatory.
The bearded man stuck a gun in the airline pilot’s back and said: “Take me to
London.”
Airline Pilot: “But we’re supposed to be going to London, anyway.”
Bearded man: “That is what they told me last time and we ended up in Cuba, so this time I’m not taking any chances.”
A Scotsman was fined $50 for indecent conduct at Edinburgh. According to witnesses he had continually wiped the perspiration off his forehead with his kilt.
A Scotsman planning a airline trip to the Holy Land was disgusted when he found it would cost one pound an hour to rent a boat on the sea of Galilee. “Mon,” he said indignantly, “in Scotland airline would be a lot cheaper.”
“Perhaps so,” said the airline travel agent soothingly, “but remember, the Sea of Galilee is the water on which our Lord walked.”
The Scotsman shook his head and said: “It’s nae wonder He walked!”
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